numbers

i’ll never
write anything
as good again.
i’ll do
as i said
again
and again
and yet again,
—
why do i hesitate
in the first place?
why,
i’m not even placed.
i’m at odds
with myself.
i prefer no standards
but i set them myself so high, so
i’ll never
write anything
until
i know
i get it
don’t
tell me again,
why do i never write?
numbers plac
e me, i’m irrational
i want to write, but the barriers
i’m imaginary,
i’m imagining them,
they’re stopping me from writing
i can’t write,
i can’t work,
i can’t even
because i’m at odds with myself.
so when it comes two being finished,
to being 4+(one)
i’ll never.
but when it comes to defeating my own barriers,
someday,
i will have won.

*4 = 4th letter. 4+(one) = D+one = Done.